I thought I would share this with you:
A woman who read my first book Dance of Power once asked me how I had kept going, why I had not stopped or given up as I proceeded on my path. She said there were many points as she read my book that she said, "If that had happened to me I would have quit." The best answer I had for her at the time was that I just knew I had to continue, quitting was just not an option.
A few days later I was sitting in the sanctuary of a Catholic church meditating. As I opened my eyes a group of children came out of the back room. All, except one, were bouncing along as children do. One little boy was very mindfully carrying a bottle of oil. He looked at it reverently as he walked silently along. I wondered what his life would be like, I wondered if he would be able to hold on to his sacred connection. I closed my eyes and continued to meditate.
The question of how I had made myself continue, how I had gone on when others would have quit surfaced. Over the years I have seen so many people quit when they were at the verge of a major break through. Just before they would have achieved a deep sense of peace and freedom they stop doing the very things that were leading them toward that freedom. At that very moment they were about to experience a miracle people frequently become convinced that they need to do something else, or they need more time for themselves, or . . . the reasons are endless. What stopped me from doing that?
I know we are all the same, we all have the ability to achieve freedom. I am no better than the next person. Why is it I went on when others didn't? I was sitting near a statue of Jesus and I began to wonder what he did, how did he achieved personal freedom? The sense that I got was his personal freedom was rooted in a deep sense of love and compassion for himself and others. I know we all need to be gentle with ourselves, we need to accept our process and honor where we are before we can move forward. Love and compassion are far better motivators than fear and judgment.
I realized that great teachers like Buddha, Lao Tse, and Jesus we totally dedicated to experiencing and sharing their divinity. In my classes I often talk about the need for discipline and dedication, two words we often hate to hear. They had the discipline to overcome any odds because they knew the prize was well worth it. They saw themselves as God had created them rather than as their minds perceived them.
How had they gotten to that place of knowing. My sense was by making certain things non-negotiable. They prayed and meditated on a regular basis. They did what ever it took to maintain a deep and clear connection to their spiritual self. That connection became like the very air we breath - a non-negotiable part of life. Einstein once said that the most important decision a person could make was whether we lived in a friendly or hostile universe. From direct experience they knew God was all loving, they knew the universe was a friendly place. When I finished my meditation I realized I had a much better answer for the question of how did I go on. I made certain things non-negotiable. I prayed and meditated daily. I had a loving mentor who told me to find a place I could talk to God and go there ever day. For me the place I connect most fully with the energy of the Creator is the beach. Every morning I would go to the beach and pray. For me my prayer was very simple - please love me. I would open my heart and let that love in, then I would go about my day.
As much as possible I would maintain an attitude of humility. Whenever I was unsure of what to do or how to do it rather that guessing I would say I don't know. As soon as I admitted I didn't know I became teachable and the answers could come to me. When I felt totally hopeless and didn't want to go on I remembered that quitting wasn't an option and I couldn't go back. Besides not being an option going back could never lead me to where I wanted to go.
I remember many nights getting out of my warm bed to finish my list of non-negotiable things. In the corner of my mirror on a small white index card was a list of four things. The first was to stand in front of the mirror, look deeply into my eyes and talk loving to myself twice a day. The second was go to the beach and pray. The third was meditate and the forth write in my journal.
After at time I remembered to pray in the morning because the beach was cold and lonely late at night. I never allowed myself to stay in bed and do them tomorrow because after all doing them was non-negotiable. Non-negotiable means no room for negotiation, none what so ever. We never negotiate our need for air. We never put off our next breath because it is inconvenient or we'll do it later. If we want to continue to live, breathing is non-negotiable. My hunch is Buddha, Lao Tse, and Jesus were all very well acquainted with discipline and dedication and the concept of making things non-negotiable. They also said they were no different from us, we could do the same things and even better, if we wanted to.
Do you want your life to be full of happiness and joy or pain and struggle? The choice is yours. And it all depends on how willing you are to exert discipline and dedication and to make things non-negotiable.
from my new book
The Toltec Way
Dr. Susan Gregg
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